Temenos Education

My initial exposure to Carl Rogers and the Person Centered Approach was in 1968.  The term at that time was, Client Centered Therapy.  I participated in the first La Jolla Program at a University in La Jolla California, where we lived in dorms and stayed for 3 weeks. I was just 16 at the time and had recently been through some traumatic events in my life.  My father, Earl Burrows, was a member of the Center for Studies of the Person and worked with Carl, which gave me access to the La Jolla Program and Carl Rogers.

The way I interpreted the “Core Conditions” of the Person-Centered Approach, was maybe different than some, due to my age and my life experience to that point in my personal development.  I, unlike most of the other participants, was not involved to become a better therapist or to use these skills for professional purposes.  My connection, curiosity, and desire to learn all I could was simply to challenge myself to be the kind of person that I believed in becoming.  Subsequently, I have always experienced the “core conditions” as deep personal values to aspire to and not a tool or skill.  

The influences of my religious upbringing and my experience at that La Jolla Program, profoundly affected who I have been throughout my life.  I have challenged myself to become a person who genuinely did not judge others. For the past 54 years when I do feel judgmental about a person or situation, I begin a process of exploring what is it in me that is causing that feeling. I also remind myself that I have no idea what that person’s life experience has been so, how can I judge them?

Whenever possible, whether in a professional or personal situation, I try to listen to the other person.  I “listen” to their words, body language and expressions.  I am very fortunate as I am a very curious person.  I truly enjoy getting to learn about how other people view the world and their own personal experiences in life.  I am fascinated with “listening” to them on many levels, both their verbal and non-verbal communication.  I enjoy trying to “hear” the context of what another person is saying to help me understand their experience.  This is my way of being empathetic.  

I wanted to be congruent, to be able to be honest in expressing myself.  For me, congruence means being able to express the feelings I have while not putting them on another person, owning them personally.   Voice inflection, body language and words both individually and together can cause a person to feel judged.  As a result, I challenged myself to be congruent and pay attention to my reasons for holding back when I noticed I was avoiding being truthful.

I found that unconditional positive regard is the result of working so hard on the values I expressed above.  I personally, believe that the “Core Conditions” are meant to be present at the same time.  Congruence without Unconditional Positive Regard is something that feels judgmental to me.  Unconditional Positive Regard without Congruence feels disingenuous. These assertions are simply my own based on me and my own experience.

I have worked for many years with people who do not either communicate with verbal language or have a different way of communicating.  Being person centered, this process of communicating and listening has expanded my senses in finding ways to “hear” the person and return communication.   This process has been such a gift in my life as it requires “being person centered” because there is no other way to communicate or model empathy, unconditional regard, congruence, and acceptance of the person.  

This information is to give you a little background on who you can expect me to be when I participate in any groups.  The skill I bring is simply being me.